When I look back at my journey, it’s almost surreal how far I’ve come from those early days as an 18-year-old lab assistant. It doesn’t sound glamorous, let’s be honest, I spent most of my time cleaning, doing routine tasks, and simply trying to find my footing in a new world. And yet, the real challenge I faced wasn’t in the work itself; it was the battle in my head.

There was a constant stream of negativity. “You’re not good enough,” “Who do you think you are?” “You’re too stupid.” Sound familiar? If you’ve ever experienced that inner critic, you know how real it can feel. And back then, I believed every word. After all, who was I to question it? I didn’t know any better. It was the only voice I’d heard for so long, so it must have been true.

But as I stuck with it, something shifted. Slowly, I began to grow in my role, gain confidence, and even managed to earn a degree! a feat I considered nothing short of lucky. I came from a council estate, a place where people often had a narrow view of what “success” looked like. It wasn’t that they necessarily looked down on me, but it sure felt like I was being judged from all sides. In truth, though, it wasn’t just them; I was looking down at myself. I didn’t feel good enough, and the more I believed that, the more I found reasons to reinforce it.

I thought that the more prestigious the title, the better I would feel about myself. I climbed the ladder, ultimately becoming a manager of a busy research facility, holding the title of “Scientist and Biological Resource Manager.” From the outside, it might’ve looked like I had it all figured out. But inside, I still didn’t feel good enough. That inner critic was louder than ever.

The truth was, I didn’t have a PhD and I convinced myself that if I didn’t have one, I wasn’t really qualified. Imposter syndrome took over. I felt like a fraud, just waiting for someone to call me out. Even though I had worked hard and achieved a lot, the message I heard in my head was clear: You’re too stupid. You don’t belong here.

It was only when I hit what I now recognise as a breakdown (though I prefer to call it a breakthrough) that I realized something had to change. The cycle of self-doubt, shame, and self-sabotage was only getting worse, and if I didn’t confront it, it would continue to hold me back.

That’s when I discovered the power of working on my limiting beliefs—kindly and compassionately. I had to stop the negative self-talk, not by fighting it head-on but by gently uncovering the truths I had buried beneath all that judgment. This deep dive into my own inner world was not easy, but it was so worth it. I had to unlearn years of self-sabotage, to look at myself through a new, kinder lens.

One of the most powerful tools I’ve found in this process is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). EFT has been a game-changer for me, helping me clear away the emotional clutter and make peace with my past. It’s not a quick fix, but it’s incredibly effective when you commit to doing the work. The more I practiced, the more I uncovered. We’re always a work in progress, after all. And that’s okay.

As a therapist, I know that walking the walk is just as important as talking the talk. It’s crucial to recognise when old patterns are creeping back in, to notice when I’m slipping into those default thoughts of “I’m not enough.” This awareness is key in breaking the cycle. And when I do fall into those old patterns, I remind myself that it’s part of being human. We all slip up. The important thing is to catch ourselves and keep moving forward.

If you haven’t tried EFT, I highly recommend giving it a go. There are so many resources available online and I’ll be sharing some on here soon to help you get started. Remember, we’re all works in progress, and healing takes time. But with patience, self-compassion and the right tools, you can break free from those limiting beliefs that have been holding you back.

Until next time, take care of yourself, and be kind to the person you’re becoming. You’ve got this.